- Home
- Thomas Love Peacock
Maid Marian Page 11
Maid Marian Read online
Page 11
CHAPTER XI
--Tuck, the merry friar, who many a sermon made In praise of Robin Hood, his outlaws, and their trade.--DRAYTON.
The baron, with some of his retainers and all the foresters, halted atdaybreak in Sherwood forest. The foresters quickly erected tents, andprepared an abundant breakfast of venison and ale.
"Now, Lord Fitzwater," said the chief forester, "recognise yourson-in-law that was to have been, in the outlaw Robin Hood."
"Ay, ay," said the baron, "I have recognised you long ago."
"And recognise your young friend Gamwell," said the second, "in theoutlaw Scarlet."
"And Little John, the page," said the third, "in Little John theoutlaw."
"And Father Michael, of Rubygill Abbey," said the friar, "in Friar Tuck,of Sherwood forest. Truly, I have a chapel here hard by, in the shape ofa hollow tree, where I put up my prayers for travellers, and Little Johnholds the plate at the door, for good praying deserves good paying."
"I am in fine company," said the baron.
"In the very best of company," said the friar, "in the high court ofNature, and in the midst of her own nobility. Is it not so? This goodlygrove is our palace: the oak and the beech are its colonnade and itscanopy: the sun and the moon and the stars are its everlasting lamps:the grass, and the daisy, and the primrose, and the violet, are itsmany-coloured floor of green, white, yellow, and blue; the may-flower,and the woodbine, and the eglantine, and the ivy, are its decorations,its curtains, and its tapestry: the lark, and the thrush, and thelinnet, and the nightingale, are its unhired minstrels and musicians.Robin Hood is king of the forest both by dignity of birth and by virtueof his standing army: to say nothing of the free choice of his people,which he has indeed, but I pass it by as an illegitimate basis of power.He holds his dominion over the forest, and its horned multitude ofcitizen-deer, and its swinish multitude or peasantry of wild boars, byright of conquest and force of arms. He levies contributions among themby the free consent of his archers, their virtual representatives. Ifthey should find a voice to complain that we are 'tyrants and usurpersto kill and cook them up in their assigned and native dwelling-place,'we should most convincingly admonish them, with point of arrow, thatthey have nothing to do with our laws but to obey them. Is it notwritten that the fat ribs of the herd shall be fed upon by the mighty inthe land? And have not they withal my blessing? my orthodox, canonical,and archiepiscopal blessing? Do I not give thanks for them when theyare well roasted and smoking under my nose? What title had William ofNormandy to England, that Robin of Locksley has not to merry Sherwood?William fought for his claim. So does Robin. With whom, both? With anythat would or will dispute it. William raised contributions. So doesRobin. From whom, both? From all that they could or can make pay them.Why did any pay them to William? Why do any pay them to Robin? For thesame reason to both: because they could not or cannot help it. Theydiffer indeed, in this, that William took from the poor and gave to therich, and Robin takes from the rich and gives to the poor: and thereinis Robin illegitimate; though in all else he is true prince. Scarlet andJohn, are they not peers of the forest? lords temporal of Sherwood? Andam not I lord spiritual? Am I not archbishop? Am I not pope? Do I notconsecrate their banner and absolve their sins? Are not they state, andam not I church? Are not they state monarchical, and am not I churchmilitant? Do I not excommunicate our enemies from venison and brawn,and by 'r Lady, when need calls, beat them down under my feet? The statelevies tax, and the church levies tithe. Even so do we. Mass, wetake all at once. What then? It is tax by redemption and tithe bycommutation. Your William and Richard can cut and come again, but ourRobin deals with slippery subjects that come not twice to his exchequer.What need we then to constitute a court, except a fool and a laureate?For the fool, his only use is to make false knaves merry by art, and weare true men and are merry by nature. For the laureate, his only officeis to find virtues in those who have none, and to drink sack for hispains. We have quite virtue enough to need him not, and can drink oursack for ourselves." "Well preached, friar," said Robin Hood: "yet thereis one thing wanting to constitute a court, and that is a queen. Andnow, lovely Matilda, look round upon these sylvan shades where we haveso often roused the stag from his ferny covert. The rising sun smilesupon us through the stems of that beechen knoll. Shall I take your hand,Matilda, in the presence of this my court? Shall I crown you with ourwild-wood coronal, and hail you queen of the forest? Will you be thequeen Matilda of your own true king Robin?"
Matilda smiled assent.
"Not Matilda," said the friar: "the rules of our holy alliance requirenew birth. We have excepted in favour of Little John, because he isgreat John, and his name is a misnomer. I sprinkle, not thy foreheadwith water, but thy lips with wine, and baptize thee MARIAN."
"Here is a pretty conspiracy," exclaimed the baron. "Why, you villanousfriar, think you to nickname and marry my daughter before my face withimpunity?"
"Even so, bold baron," said the friar; "we are strongest here. Say you,might overcomes right? I say no. There is no right but might: and tosay that might overcomes right is to say that right overcomes itself: anabsurdity most palpable. Your right was the stronger in Arlingford, andours is the stronger in Sherwood. Your right was right as long as youcould maintain it; so is ours. So is King Richard's, with all deferencebe it spoken; and so is King Saladin's; and their two mights are nowcommitted in bloody fray, and that which overcomes will be right, justas long as it lasts, and as far as it reaches. And now if any of youknow any just impediment----"
"Fire and fury," said the baron.
"Fire and fury," said the friar, "are modes of that might whichconstitutes right, and are just impediments to any thing against whichthey can be brought to bear. They are our good allies upon occasion, andwould declare for us now if you should put them to the test."
"Father," said Matilda, "you know the terms of our compact: from themoment you restrained my liberty, you renounced your claim to all butcompulsory obedience. The friar argues well. Right ends with might.Thick walls, dreary galleries, and tapestried chambers, were indifferentto me while I could leave them at pleasure, but have ever been hatefulto me since they held me by force. May I never again have roof butthe blue sky, nor canopy but the green leaves, nor barrier but theforest-bounds; with the foresters to my train, Little John to my page,Friar Tuck to my ghostly adviser, and Robin Hood to my liege lord. I amno longer lady Matilda Fitzwater, of Arlingford Castle, but plain MaidMarian, of Sherwood Forest."
"Long live Maid Marian!" re-echoed the foresters.
"Oh false girl!" said the baron, "do you renounce your name andparentage?"
"Not my parentage," said Marian, "but my name indeed: do not all maidsrenounce it at the altar?"
"The altar!" said the baron: "grant me patience! what do you mean by thealtar?"
"Pile green turf," said the friar, "wreathe it with flowers, and crownit with fruit, and we will show the noble baron what we mean by thealtar."
The foresters did as the friar directed.
"Now, Little John," said the friar, "on with the cloak of the abbot ofDoubleflask. I appoint thee my clerk: thou art here duly elected in fullmote."
"I wish you were all in full moat together," said the baron, "and smoothwall on both sides."
"Punnest thou?" said the friar. "A heinous anti-christian offence.Why anti-christian? Because anti-catholic? Why anti-catholic? Becauseanti-roman. Why anti-roman? Because Carthaginian. Is not pun fromPunic? punica fides: the very quint-essential quiddity of bad faith:double-visaged: double-tongued. He that will make a pun will---- I sayno more. Fie on it. Stand forth, clerk. Who is the bride's father?"
"There is no bride's father," said the baron. "I am the father ofMatilda Fitzwater."
"There is none such," said the friar. "This is the fair Maid Marian.Will you make a virtue of necessity, or will you give laws to theflowing tide? Will you give her, or shall Robin take her? Will you beher true natural father, or shall I commute paternity? Stand forth,Scarlet."
/>
"Stand back, sirrah Scarlet," said the baron. "My daughter shall have nofather but me. Needs must when the devil drives."
"No matter who drives," said the friar, "so that, like a well-disposedsubject, you yield cheerful obedience to those who can enforce it."
"Mawd, sweet Mawd," said the baron, "will you then forsake your poorold father in his distress, with his castle in ashes, and his enemy inpower?"
"Not so, father," said Marian; "I will always be your true daughter: Iwill always love, and serve, and watch, and defend you: but neither willI forsake my plighted love, and my own liege lord, who was your choicebefore he was mine, for you made him my associate in infancy; and thathe continued to be mine when he ceased to be yours, does not in any wayshow remissness in my duties or falling off in my affections. And thoughI here plight my troth at the altar to Robin, in the presence of thisholy priest and pious clerk, yet.... Father, when Richard returns fromPalestine, he will restore you to your barony, and perhaps, for yoursake, your daughter's husband to the earldom of Huntingdon: should thatnever be, should it be the will of fate that we must live and die in thegreenwood, I will live and die MAID MARIAN." [4]
"A pretty resolution," said the baron, "if Robin will let you keep it."
"I have sworn it," said Robin. "Should I expose her tenderness to theperils of maternity, when life and death may hang on shifting at amoment's notice from Sherwood to Barnsdale, and from Barnsdale to thesea-shore? And why should I banquet when my merry men starve? Chastityis our forest law, and even the friar has kept it since he has beenhere."
"Truly so," said the friar: "for temptation dwells with ease and luxury:but the hunter is Hippolytus, and the huntress is Dian. And now, dearlybeloved----"
The friar went through the ceremony with great unction, and Little Johnwas most clerical in the intonation of his responses. After which, thefriar sang, and Little John fiddled, and the foresters danced, Robinwith Marian, and Scarlet with the baron; and the venison smoked, andthe ale frothed, and the wine sparkled, and the sun went down on theirunwearied festivity: which they wound up with the following song, thefriar leading and the foresters joining chorus:
Oh! bold Robin Hood is a forester good, As ever drew bow in the merry greenwood: At his bugle's shrill singing the echoes are ringing, The wild deer are springing for many a rood: Its summons we follow, through brake, over hollow, The thrice-blown shrill summons of bold Robin Hood.
And what eye hath e'er seen such a sweet Maiden Queen, As Marian, the pride of the forester's green? A sweet garden-flower, she blooms in the bower, Where alone to this hour the wild rose has been: We hail her in duty the queen of all beauty: We will live, we will die, by our sweet Maiden queen.
And here's a grey friar, good as heart can desire, To absolve all our sins as the case may require: Who with courage so stout, lays his oak-plant about, And puts to the rout all the foes of his choir: For we are his choristers, we merry foresters, Chorussing thus with our militant friar
And Scarlet cloth bring his good yew-bough and string, Prime minister is he of Robin our king: No mark is too narrow for little John's arrow, That hits a cock sparrow a mile on the wing; Robin and Marion, Scarlet, and Little John, Long with their glory old Sherwood shall ring.
Each a good liver, for well-feathered quiver Doth furnish brawn, venison, and fowl of the river: But the best game we dish up, it is a fat bishop: When his angels we fish up, he proves a free giver: For a prelate so lowly has angels more holy, And should this world's false angels to sinners deliver.
Robin and Marion, Scarlet and Little John, Drink to them one by one, drink as ye sing: Robin and Marion, Scarlet and Little John, Echo to echo through Sherwood shall fling: Robin and Marion, Scarlet and Little John, Long with their glory old Sherwood shall ring.